Fellow Travelers: I am Alpha M
The Internet is full of frauds.
It doesn’t matter in what corner a man finds himself, the ease of use of social media and blogs is prime breeding ground for fakes and snake-oil salesman. On scales large and small, we’ve all seen it. It may be that friend from high school who’s always posting on Facebook about how hard they work – yet their labors never bear any fruit, or the self-professed ladies man who clams up like the bass player of a high-school emo band when in the vicinity of an attractive woman, or the scrawny guy who criticizes the form of men deadlifting three times their own body weight.
This isn’t to say that any man who is less than perfect has no business being online. Far from it. I enjoy those who catalog their growth processes because it can make aspirations seem more tangible and attainable. Rather, it’s to comment on the fact that anyone can be an “expert” in their field.
I know a man is an expert not by the number of comments his blog gets, or how many followers he has on Instagram, or even by a government-backed certificate saying he’s passed the right tests. I know a man is expert when he walks his talk.
The world of style blogging isn’t any more or any less immune to keyboard jockeying and frauds than any other interest group. Rather than pointing out the fakes, I want to hi-light one (in the future there will be others) of the men who is what he claims to be.
If you haven’t heard of Aaron Marino over at iamalpham.com, I suggest you check him out right away. Aaron’s worn different hats in the style world since clear back in 2006. He’s worked as an image consultant, written blog posts, and his bread and butter now is his popular YouTube channel.
Aaron covers all things aesthetic – from style, to grooming, to fitness, and even body language. Because he does it on the fly and in front of a camera, there’s not a whole lot of room for him to fake who he is. His confidence, physique, and style are all apparent in any one of his videos and it makes him more enjoyable to watch and also easier to trust as a valid resource. After having an enjoyable phone conversation with him last week I can say he’s the same one-on-one as he is in front of a camera.
And I’m not the only one who thinks so. He’s been consistently in Real Men Real Style’s annual list of top ten style bloggers and has received a fair amount of both local and national press. To cap it all off, Aaron’s doing this as a full-time job. It’s not some pipe dream, or even just a side hustle; the man makes a living on the Internet helping men improve their appearance and their lives.
Check out his intro video, and then dive into his site.
Camo
If you spend any time perusing sites like Tumblr, Reddit, and menswear blogs, you’re probably well aware of the current trend of wearing camo. I had an individual request how to pull it off and decided a post would be better than just a personal response because there might be others who are interested in doing so too.
The first thing to understand about wearing camo is that it’s a trend – which is kind of ironic, considering it is a method of visual communication that has been in the animal kingdom since the beginning of time. However, as universal as it is in the predator/prey world, in the realm of men’s clothing it falls into the same category as things like stacked bracelets, no socks, and high button stances on jackets. They take a man out of the realm of timeless style and into the world of fashion. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but something needs to be understood before taking it on. Wearing a camo tie to the office on Friday is very different than sporting one at your wedding. Trends and fashion can be used to a man’s advantage but only when embraced appropriately.
Second, camo is not for beginners. It can create serious levels of contrast, making it something that must be worn deliberately and conscientiously. The trick is to find the correct balance between consistency and contrast.
If worn too consistently, it becomes the uniform of the militia man, those who stock up and pray for the impending zombie apocalypse so they can go back to living off the land and defending their tribe. Other subsets of these men are rednecks, hunters, and additional Rugged types.
Too much consistent camo communicates a removal from modern society and the inability to function within its parameters. Some men will declare this a vice while others will tout it as a virtue. Either way, it can become a costume and make it difficult to work effectively with other men who don’t feel the same way about modernity.
On the other end of the spectrum is too much contrast. Camo is rooted in war and violence. It’s a way for us to hide ourselves so we can hurt and kill other animals and people. On a subconscious level, we all understand that and associate camouflage with toughness, strength, and violence.
When it’s worn by men who, through their physique, body language, tone of voice, mannerisms, and overall aesthetics, communicate no ability to do violence, the contrast is too strong. It takes any aspect of effeminacy or frailty and brings it to the fore. Younger, skinny guys may like what’s communicated, but most men have no interest in handicapping themselves to this extent.
From the perspective of the three style archetypes, camo is all Rake. Trying to wear it with a Rugged aesthetic falls too far into the above-mentioned consistency trap. Because of its rugged and violence-based origins, there’s no way to wear it as part of a Refined, subtle aesthetic either. Its ability to nod to some aspects of raw masculinity while still keeping everything in check falls in line perfectly with the Rakish man.
Once a man understands the implications of camo (and whether or not it meets his goals), he can start to learn how to wear it.
The easiest and safest approach is to start small. Items like socks, ties, bags, watch straps, wallets, suit linings, and other small or seldom-seen items allow for a peek of the pattern without drawing too much attention.
From there it can be worn in larger chunks, either as layers or in more casual environments. An old military shirt under a jacket, a pair of chinos, or casual field jacket are all good ways of keeping it casual while still announcing an embrace of the trend.
Lastly, it is found on men written about on style blogs, and forums; those who have their photos taken in cities like New York and Florence, men whose style is defined by their ability to wear fashions and trends to the extreme. In these scenarios it can be worn in almost any way possible, from the dandies of Pitti Uomo to the Supreme/Jordan-wearing street styles of inner cities. Items like suits, coats, blazers, dress shoes, flat-brimmed caps, and other high-contrast pieces will get attention, and it will be positive.
Just as it is with any other aspect of style, the man considering wearing camo should evaluate whether or not it will help him meet his goals, regardless of whether or not he likes it. A camo tie may be the coolest thing in the world, but wearing one to a performance review at a white-collar job is probably not a great idea. However, if he’s looking for a way to stand out from the crowd of well-dressed men, it’s an attention getter that could pay off.
Aesthetic and Social Congruence
Last week I got an email from a client with whom I started working more than a year ago. He’s seen some significant changes in his life and attributes many of them to his efforts in dressing better. Some of the differences were a direct result and others were more indirect.
While he was happy to list off all of the great new things (dating a more attractive woman, getting better responses from sales people, increased credibility with his boss, etc.), he also sent me a list of some of his challenges. There’s a lot of insight in what he’s experienced and I’ll be creating posts out of a few of his comments.
For today, let’s start with this:
The hardest part is upgrading your confidence and personality and social skills to be congruent with your style. If you are one of the most dressed up guys in the room, people will also expect you to act at a higher caliber, and like it or not you will be on display. This is difficult because it puts me under pressure and limits my social freedom. And if you don’t bring the charm, energy and personality to match your style, you might end up worse off than if you just dressed sloppy.
Whether it’s transitioning from a student to a working man, getting over a divorce or bad breakup, getting a promotion, or any of the other catalysts, most men find themselves at a stage in their lives where they need to make an active effort to improve. Hopefully this is a part of who we are on a constant basis, but many men struggle with the transition of being a guy who goes with the flow to living deliberately.
Many of us want to be able to improve at our own pace. We believe it will be easier on us if we can transition slowly from who we are to who we want to be. There are entire industries and products built around gradual, controlled adjustments. Things like nicotine patches, training wheels, and rehabilitation centers are all geared around the idea of transitional improvement. It’s why proper training means lifting an increased weight with proper form as a man gets stronger, as opposed to starting with the target weight and slowly increasing the range of motion over time.
However, the merits of a transitional improvement are not universal. Some people are better served by quitting smoking cold turkey, others can only get over a bad breakup or divorce by moving and starting over from scratch. Often the option of a gradual transition doesn’t even exist. We may take new jobs in new cities, lose a family member in an accident, or find out we’re about to have a child.
In these situations we can either capitalize on the primary change and use the momentum to make other improvements, or we can develop ourselves in complementary areas as a way to make the primary adjustment more smooth.
For example:
My friend Mike just got a new job. He’s gone from working as an artist with video game and illustration companies to something a bit more corporate. As a result, his band shirts, black jeans, and skate shoes are no longer an appropriate work wardrobe. Mike could just head to Wal Mart and pick up work-appropriate shirts and slacks. However, even though these clothes would be appropriate for his new job, their cut, fit, feel, and aesthetic would diminish the way he feels about his new position and also subtly work against him in regard to establishing credibility and respect with his new boss and co-workers. Instead, Mike is better off spending a bit more time and effort in building a work-appropriate wardrobe that looks, feels, and fits great. His confidence will rise, as will the respect he commands from those around him.
Another friend, Greg, is getting back into the dating market after a two-year relationship with a girl. He’s a successful man who makes a solid income and keeps in great shape. He recently sent me an email asking for advice on some clothing because he realized one day that his cargo shorts make him look like a 17-year-old boy. While he’s confident, charismatic, successful, intelligent, and funny, the women he seeks out will only see a man-boy who’s still trying to hold onto his glory days of high school and college. By improving his wardrobe, he’ll have an easier time transitioning back into the dating market and will attract more attractive women who have more and better options in the dating pool.
Obviously both of my friends’ lives can be improved by improving their style, but their self-improvement (just like all of ours) will demand more than that.
To my client’s point, sometimes the change in a man’s style is the catalyst that demands change in other aspects of his life. Rather than having a wardrobe improvement be a reaction to existing changes, improving his style can be a change that forces a man to better himself in other areas. Over and over again we’ve hammered home the idea that a man’s style is the first method he uses to communicate who he is to the rest of the world. If his aesthetic tells the people around him that he’s a successful, confident, competent man, and his attitude, accomplishments, sociability, and body language say otherwise, the people around him will resent the inconsistency.
Weak men will use this demand for consistency as an excuse to maintain their aesthetic inertia. They’ll tell themselves they’re being true to who they are and it’s fake or try-hard to up their style game. However, men who are serious about making the most of their lives will use it as a protective tool and even a bumper.
One of the most common comments I get from my custom suit clients is that a well-fitting suit is a new incentive for them to stay in shape. They recognize how expensive and wasteful it would be to invest money in a garment that was made for them, only to have their body change and negate the effects of the suit or their ability to wear it altogether. The suit becomes a yardstick by which they can measure and maintain their physical shape.
The same can be said of a man’s style in general. One of the reasons the unmotivated dress like complete bums is because it’s congruent with their aspirations and work ethic. It’s much more difficult for a man to allow himself to slack in other areas when he maintains the self discipline to dress well.
What Is a Spring/Summer Suit
Some parts of the States will argue with me, but we are moving into warmer weather. It’s supposed to reach the mid 70’s in Salt Lake today and I couldn’t be happier about it.
For most men, the transition from colder months to warmer is pretty easy, at least when it comes to casual clothing. The poorly dressed have already donned their cargo shorts and flip-flops and won’t abandon them until the holiday season. The better-dressed have swapped out their winter coats for spring-appropriate jackets or layers, and many are starting to go sockless.
Thankfully, the changing wardrobe is not just limited to casual options. A man’s suits and business-casual attire can fluctuate with the seasons as well. While an all-season suit is the most versatile, there’s something much more comfortable and appropriate about having one or two dressed-up items that are only worn during particular times of the year.
To the untrained eye, it can be tough to tell the difference between and all season, spring/summer, and fall/winter suit. So today I’ll break down what to look for while suiting up for the longer, warmer days ahead.
If made and worn correctly, a suit and button-up shirt can make a man cooler than if he were out in shorts and a tank top. Take for example, the traditional clothing of men in desert environments. They are covered from head to toe in lightweight materials that allow maximum breathability, create pockets of cool air, reflect the sun’s heat, and keep the man wearing them comfortable.
Material
The cloth from which a suit is made has a huge impact on how comfortable it is in different seasons. Certain materials and weaves are better for trapping in body heat and keeping the wearer warm, while others afford more breathability – optimizing airflow and allowing body heat to escape.
Obviously for spring and summer the focus should be on breathability over heat retention. The two cloths best for this are cotton and linen.
Both are breathable materials that allow warm air to leave the body and cool air to pass through. Linen is typically the more breathable of the two and is optimal for summer whereas cotton has more variability between the two seasons.
Cloth Weight
While the makeup of a cloth is important, its weight is as well. Cotton is a great example of how varying weights can create different effects. Spending a May afternoon in a seersucker jacket and then again in one made of corduroy is going to create vastly different comfort effects. The former will keep a man nice and cool, while the latter will have him sweating himself silly.
The same can be said of wool. Few people know there are light and tropical-weight wools that are created specifically for warmer seasons and environments.
Canvassing
The canvas is the interior layer between a jacket’s main body and the lining. Cheaper suits are made without a canvas and through a process called fusing. More expensive jackets are made with a full canvas that covers the entire front and sides of the jacket from the collar down.
While a full canvas is a great option for increasing the structure and drape of a jacket, the extra material is an additional layer that can trap air and heat. Spring and summer jackets are more comfortable (and formal) if made with a half canvas or more comfortable (and casual) if made unstructured. Leave the full canvas for the cooler months and the all-season suits.
Lining
Choosing a lightweight material with little or no structure is pointless if all breathability stops at the lining. The industry standard for a jacket’s lining is Bemberg Rayon, a synthetic, polyester-like material. While it has its benefits and is the go-to for a reason, its primary drawback is how much it restricts airflow.
It is pointless to choose a cloth with maximum breathability if that airflow is stopped by the interior lining. When looking for a seasonally appropriate jacket or suit, it is better to opt for one that is either unlined or half lined.
Color
Most of us learned in our middle school science classes about the way different colors respond to the rays of the sun. Darker shades like charcoals and blacks will absorb the sun’s heat while lighter colors like cream and white will reflect it.
This does not mean it’s inappropriate to wear black, charcoal, or navy between now and September, just that it could potential be less comfortable. When planning on making a purchase of a new suit or sportcoat, it’s best to weigh the garment’s versatility and formality against its comfort. A cream suit may be more comfortable, but it’s also going to appear more casual.
Formality
While formality does need to be considered, the world of suits and sportcoats tends to dial down its seriousness a degree or two during the warmer months. The cream suit mentioned above may not be appropriate for a board meeting but will be just fine for a Tuesday at the office.
The lower level of expected formality is also advantageous with spring and summer-weight cloths. Linen and cotton are both much more prone to wrinkle than a heavy wool, as are unstructured and unlined jackets. Rather than chaffing at the wrinkles, many men choose to embrace them and the attitude that comes with longer days and warmer weather.
While I always recommend custom if possible, I acknowledge that there are plenty of men who can’t or don’t want to spend more than a month’s worth of rent on a suit or sportcoat. There are plenty of off-the-rack options that can fit the bill and one that recently caught my eye is a new offering from Bonobos.
According to the company, the new Foundation cotton/linen suits are made with a half canvas, half lining, and Irish linen. They are simple and straightforward enough to be great as business suits but also casual enough to be worn as separates. I can’t vouch for the quality as I’ve never worn one, but the $450 price tag should make them appealing to the cost-conscious man who doesn’t want to skimp out on quality.