One of the first things a newcomer to Game and the pickup scene will learn about is peacocking; essentially the idea of wearing something or adding a visual element that makes a man stand out from the crowd.
This concept makes a lot of sense. While women aren’t as visually stimulated as men, they are still affected by what they see.
Take a look at Mark Zuckerberg. Even if you were to ignore all of his mewling, beta behaviors, he’s still not going to instill any awe in a woman across the room who doesn’t know him as the guy who invented Facebook. He dresses like the vast majority of geeky, post-college-aged guys.
Or how about Steve Jobs? The guy is worth a ridiculous amount of money and is the idea behind the company that made computers and smart phones not only accessible, but downright sexy for women. But outside the sphere of devoted Mac fangirls, he doesn’t cause a lot of women to swoon.
From a pure hypergamy standpoint, these two are pretty top tier. They’re wealthy beyond most people’s wildest dreams and are famous to boot. But even without knowing much about their personalities, women still aren’t turned on by these guys.
The sad thing is that these two look like the majority of men in the West today. They think looking good and being comfortable in one’s clothes are mutually exclusive. That or they believe they are too busy to be concerned with how they look – an ironic viewpoint considering how much money both of them spend on making sure they’re products look as good as possible.
As unfortunate as it is that most men look like this, what’s even more unfortunate is overzealousness with which budding men latch onto the idea of peacocking.
I understand the idea. Dress like a rockstar and women will think you are one. Stand out from the crowd and women will be attracted to your social dominance and willingness to not fit in. Wear something interesting and it will you give you something to talk about as you approach a woman.
The downside to over-the-top peacocking is – unless you have the game or the status to back it up – you end up looking as ridiculous as Tom Haverford.
Thankfully there’s a balance between the two. A man can dress well and stand out from the crowd without looking like a clown or a poser. And no, the middle isn’t dressing like some trendy hipster kid either.
The balance lies in cultivating a sense of style.
Style is still peacocking; but unlike fashion, style is timeless. A stylish man will look at a picture taken of him today and it will still look good five, ten, 50 years from now. A stylish man will walk into the room and all the schlubs will feel underdressed and self-conscious while all the fashionistas will feel trendy and foolish. A stylish man will walk into a room and draw a woman’s attention and curiosity while still garnering some respect.
Now don’t get me wrong, a stylish man can and certainly does incorporate fashionable elements into his wardrobe. The key is to only have one or two fashionable elements as opposed to trying to look like you just stepped off a runway or out of a lookbook. The line between fashion and style is a blurry one.
And the most important thing to remember is that your style has to be your own. On my blogroll you will see a number of different sites that are geared towards men’s style. Some are by dandies who want to go back to the last turn of the century, others are traditionalists who will only dress like the men of the Golden Age of Hollywood. Still more are rooted in the style of Ivy-League schools and East-Coast Americana. Whichever elements of style you choose to incorporate, make sure they look good on you. Make sure you’re physically comfortable in what you’re wearing. Make sure you don’t walk out the door feeling like you’re wearing a costume. Mix and match, try new things and have some fun with it.