Posts

Trading Dignity for Attention

28 September, 2018

Having surrounded myself with men who make a living online, one of the most common things I hear is your website/Instagram/YouTube/whatever is your business card.

Implied in that statement is the idea that you need to be putting yourself online and creating a “personal brand” in order to stand out and succeed in the 21st century

But is that really true, or can you still do things the old way?

The secret and real reason you hate shopping (Style Challenge #6)

22 September, 2018
If you’re like most men, you probably have a strong dislike – if not outright hatred – for shopping
Part of it is because we’ve been told that being a man means hating shopping
But the stereotype exists for a reason and there really are a number of things to dislike about it.
Things like:
Not knowing how to find things that fit
Not wanting to be pressured by or even talk to sales associates
Thinking it needs to take hours and not wanting spend the time
Not knowing the right questions to ask to find what you want
Feeling frustrated that the models don’t look like you at all
Not wanting to spend money without knowing you’ll really love what you get
Fear of liking something in the store and then never wearing it once you pay for it
Dislike for the environment of the mall or stores
And a multitude of other reasons
But here’s the thing, you can’t buy clothes without buying them.
Sounds stupid, but you can’t get better looking, more stylish, more authentically feeling clothes without shopping for them.
Subscription boxes, stylists, or a woman in your life aren’t going to get you the results you want
Neither will waiting around for a bunch of free stuff after trade shows and 5k fun runs
I mean, I get offered free clothes every week and even I have to go out and buy stuff in order to get my style to be as simple and effective as I want it to be.
But when we dive down into the center of all of this, there’s only one real reason you have a dislike for shopping
Pressure
That perceived pressure may come from a bunch of different places – time, sales associates, your budget, not knowing what to buy, not knowing where to look, etc.
So here’s your challenge today
I want you to go do the equivalent of a sparring round
I want you to go shopping to try to piece together the personal uniform you created yesterday and not buy a thing.
All the pressure can be taken off because you’re not expecting the result of new clothes, you’re just getting more comfortable with the process of buying them.
Which means if you can’t find the right place, or don’t know the best questions to ask (just show them the photo from yesterday’s challenge), or can’t decide if it’s worth the money – you don’t have to.
You’re not there to actually buy anything.
You’re there to try on the ultimate version of what your personal wardrobe would be.
If you like the results, great! Pay for it and call it good.
If not, also great. The goal wasn’t to fight it was to spar.
Here’s one last piece of advice and it’s something I typically only go in on my coaching clientswith:
Ignore the models, mannequins, and marketing of the various stores.
I can’t tell you how many clients I have who had never set foot into a J Crew, or Carhartt, or Nordstrom, or Urban Outfitters because the way these companies did their marketing didn’t fit my clients’ self perception.
But when they did go into one of these shops and learned they could use the various clothing in their own style, not just replicate what’s on the mannequins, a whole world opened up.
So not only do I want you to spend some time shopping, I want you to go into stores you’re unfamiliar with or maybe even a bit unwilling to try out.
Go poke your head around, try on a few things, and see if you can use them in your style – not copy the store’s style.
When you find a piece, or maybe an entire outfit you like snap a pic and post it up on Twitter with the hashtag #stylechallenge and tag @tannerguzy
I’m excited to see what you come up with!

Spoiled by Quality

21 September, 2018

I had to buy a cheap H&M dress shirt last month and I’ll never do it again.

In this episode I’ll tell you all the reasons why the extra investment into quality clothing is worth it

Shut the Zuck up! (Style Challenge #5)

21 September, 2018
As you know, the most common resistance I get to what I teach is guys saying “Real men don’t care how they look”
It’s something I’ve tackled here, in the Appearance of Power, and in almost every podcast interview I’m part of.
But there’s a very close second and it goes like this,
“But Tanner, look at how successful guys like Mark Zuckerburg are and they dress like crap!”
The guys who really think they’ve figured out the key to the problem will even quote Zuckerturd when he talked about having a personal uniform in order to limit the amount of decisions he has to make every day and free his mind up to focus on more important things.
There’s two parts to this.
One – yes, he succeeded in spite of his style.
He’s the exception.
If you’re already worth billions, lead a fulfilled life, and don’t care how you look – then that’s fine.
But until you’re there, this can help.
(Side point – No one wants to be Zuckerburg. I’d love his money but nothing else about his life)
And point number two:
He’s totally right about the benefit of a personal uniform.
If you’re someone who needs to save your mental bandwidth
Or easily gets decision fatigue
Or just really doesn’t care that much about style and wants to put in as little effort as possible
Then creating a personal uniform can do absolute wonders for you.
But nowhere does it say that a personal uniform has to look absolutely sloppy, ridiculous, or pathetic in order to be effective.
If Zuckerburg had a closet full of pink gorilla suits, he wouldn’t use up any more or less mental energy choosing what to wear each day than he currently does.
Same goes for something much better like simple jeans, a well-fitted henley, and a pair of classic sneakers (my own personal uniform).
So here’s your challenge for day 5
I want you to create a personal uniform
It needs to be simple, repeatable, effective, and stylish (no, stylish does not mean formal)
I don’t want you to create it out of what you already own, nor do I want you to go buy something.
I want you to do a little bit of digging online and create it there
You may have to piece together photos of a few items
Or you could get lucky and find a photo of someone who’s already wearing your ideal personal uniform and just use that as a model
Point is, assume you have to create a personal uniform.
What does it consist of? How does it look? And why do you choose what you do?
Post up those photos on Twitter and tag me with them along with your rationale for deciding on this particular uniform.