In previous posts in this series I’ve spoken on the difference between Danger and Play in a man’s wardrobe and how both of those elements can be used to visually communicate power and respectability – with Danger being a direct communication and Play being indirect.
Today we’ll continue talking about Play and how it is an effective communication of power even if it is indirect.
One of the most attractive things to a woman is a man who is willing to take a risk. This may be a physical risk the likes of Evel Knievel or a social risk. Either way, a man who is willing to take a risk demonstrates almost every single attractive masculine trait by doing so. He shows power, control, confidence, ambition, and focus. This is why the world is full of stories of men who have risked life and limb for the attention of a beautiful woman.
While most men understand this on the scale of physical or even financial risk, it’s a lot harder for men to take a social risk. It’s why you freeze up before you approach or why younger guys get tongue-tied talking to the hot girl. A social risk is still a risk and its results are just as real as any other type of chance you take.
By understanding the implications of social risk, it’s easy to see why having elements of Play in your wardrobe can create success with women. Our clothing speaks volumes about us before we even open our mouths and the man in the madras jacket is saying he’s comfortable with taking a chance and also the attention it brings him.
This is why peacocking (as stupid as the term is) can work if done correctly. Taken to too much of an extreme – like wearing fuzzy hats, steampunk goggles, rings on every finger, etc. – it becomes the social and sartorial equivalent of trying to pick up chicks by impressing them with your ability to burn your arm with a cigarette without flinching – you’re showing a willingness to take a risk, but you’re going too far with it.
I believe PUA’s like Mystery were able to succeed in spite of their peacocking, not because of it.
Proper Play in your wardrobe is a variation of degree, not kind, from the Danger elements of your clothing. It’s wearing pants that fit impeccably well but are a loud color, wearing a traditional hat even when everyone else calls you a douche bag for doing so, having a bit of jewelry without going overboard.
There’s no hard and fast rule, but starting slow and then building up to your comfort point is the best option. By adding more elements of Play into your wardrobe, at appropriate times, you’ll be able to get a leg up on other men before anyone even asks your name.
If you liked this series and are interested in learning more about some of the principles discussed throughout, I suggest reading my series on the Man or the Clothes.